Chapter Four; Fashion. Turn To The Left

Dear Reader,

Maybe I’m not creative enough, or maybe I just don’t have that artistic flair but I genuinely have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to clothes (or shoes for that matter). I used to get most of my fashion tips from Noel Fielding and Keith Richards…and considering neither of those are women I would say that we’re already off to a pretty bad start.

I’m a girl, so naturally, I am a keen believer in shopping as a hobby but I tell you what, there is some form of anxiety that washes over me in certain shops. A massive feeling of not-belonging-ness, especially in ones like Topshop. I think this has a lot to do with that fact that I’m not, or don’t believe I am, fashionable. It’s as though I feel everyone else in the shop can smell it on me as soon as I walk in, like a fresh kill to a hyena. Somehow they can sense I don’t belong with them, the fashionistas, the one’s who know what’s going on in the world of clothing.

Who else remembers when skinny jeans first came out in the shops? For some of you, dear readers, that’s going to make you feel rather old. Others are saying to themselves ‘There was a time when skinnys didn’t exist?!’. Yes! God forbid and help us all, there was, and you know what we all wore before that?

Flairs and drainpipes…Good grief. What a world.

They were strange days, pre skinny jeans. The BC of normal trousers one might say…

BS, before skinnys. Take from that what you will.

So, we walk into Topshop one day and there they are, skinnys, everywhere, covering every wall as though Topshop had fore fronted the worlds market in this new cut of jean. I took one look and said, ‘Nope, I’m never going to wear a pair of these…’ whereas my best friend, instantly took a pair and proceeded to buy them. Lara knew what I didn’t, that they were the future of jeans, of fashion…she was one of them.

And, of course, she was right.

I’m sure we all have friends like this. The friends who can spot something that you would never take a second look at, try it on and it looks fantastic. You’re stood there thinking, but how on earth did they know that was going to look good?! It’s makes no sense!

Meanwhile I’m stood in the middle of H&M regretting the AC/DC tee, jeans and flipflops that I came out in because I clearly have no idea what I’m doing.

I think I’m one of these people who dresses in the clothes they think suit them (and lets be honest, I’m not always right with that either). I like fashion but I don’t see an odd piece of fashion clothing and say, ‘wow that’s fabulous, let’s try it on’. I just glance past it straight to the t shirts which say things like ‘Who the fuck is Mick Jagger?’.

I wonder if you can become trained to understand fashion? That makes it sound like a dog learning a trick but stay with me here... Can you study it enough that fashion becomes ingrained in your psyche or whether it’s just a reflection of your tastes and cannot be taught? Because I’m not sure this cross between a comedian with great hair and a old rock and roll guitarist thing is working for me.

Another thing, dear reader, before I leave you to get on with the more important things in life, are we meant to have a set style? Sometimes I want to dress elegantly, neutral colours, beautiful blazers and tailored dresses and other times I want to wear ripped t shirts, tartan and back comb my hair. Should I be deciding that it’s one or the other? Or isn’t it okay to dance around all the different styles and dart from an old rock and roll guitarist, to a Victoria Beckham hopeful and then onto an oversized jumper and skinnys daily? If any of you, dear readers figure it out, please, fill me in.

Perhaps it really comes down to what we’re comfortable in and what works for us. Don’t you think? Or if in doubt…shove on a huge pair of sunglasses and look like you know what you’re doing.

SP.

P.S. Just noticed that's my initials backwards, far out. Also, here's a picture I took of my style icon Keith Richards when I briefly met him years ago, with Lara, whilst probably wearing flairs....