Dear Reader

Dear Reader, I have noticed during my daily commute on the train that my internal monologue often run on a loop, such are the monotonous journeys I endure each day. I thought I would attempt to entertain you with the thoughts that offer almost everyday (should I be awake enough). Things I wish I could say on the train: Could you kindly stop talking, I'm trying to read my book and your voice is putting me off  Move yo'self the fuck over MY ARM REST! Now look here you, stop eating that apple or I'm going to shove it down your throat Oh I like your dress, where did you get it from? SIR YOUR HEADPHONES ARE NOT PLUGGED IN AND WE CAN ALL HEAR YOUR SODDING PROGRAMME... ...wait don't plug them in, I was starting to enjoy that Stop apologising for the train being late and let's get this show on the road Please go home and clean your travel mug, that is truly quite deplorable I see you there, reading the back of my book, i...

Dear Reader, I am officially a commuter, a grumpy, tired, stop stealing my seat and stay on your BLOODY SIDE...commuter. To be fair, I'm not grumpy really and we all know I never actually tell anyone to stay on their side, I'm quite small for such a huge wuss. It's more of loud internal monologue whereupon shouting occurs at random points. I'm sure that should you be able to tape it and play it back, it might make a rather good radio show. So as of last week my people watching has kicked up a notch, I'm in London now, way more people to watch here... However, what the BLOODY  HELL LONDON?! Do you have to sign a document before you live here saying that under no circumstances will you ever move out of the way?! I mean I'm all for sticking to your guns but this is ridiculous. The amount of people that have whacked straight into me when all it would have taken is a 3 degree shift to the left is quite maddening. And I tell you what's more, I'm so Br...