Dear Reader

Dear Reader, I have noticed during my daily commute on the train that my internal monologue often run on a loop, such are the monotonous journeys I endure each day. I thought I would attempt to entertain you with the thoughts that offer almost everyday (should I be awake enough). Things I wish I could say on the train: Could you kindly stop talking, I'm trying to read my book and your voice is putting me off  Move yo'self the fuck over MY ARM REST! Now look here you, stop eating that apple or I'm going to shove it down your throat Oh I like your dress, where did you get it from? SIR YOUR HEADPHONES ARE NOT PLUGGED IN AND WE CAN ALL HEAR YOUR SODDING PROGRAMME... ...wait don't plug them in, I was starting to enjoy that Stop apologising for the train being late and let's get this show on the road Please go home and clean your travel mug, that is truly quite deplorable I see you there, reading the back of my book, i...

Dear Reader, A man on the train in first class was so keen to shut himself off from us peasants in coach that he pressed the close button around eleventy billion times before attempting to forcibly close them by hand! I thought to myself, this gentleman here clearly does not want to associate with the great unwashed. Bollocks to this I said, don't you group me in with this lot of ragamuffins and I jumped though, quicker than you could say 'Shall we Winter in St. Barts', as the first class doors slammed behind me with the most middle class bang I've ever heard... S.P.